Glitter and Puke

Today & only today

2011-05-08T11:54:00.001-07:00

These past couple of weeks have been filled with projects big and little. From reading to gardening to crafting and working out I've been busy busy. I've noticed that these hobbies keep my mind busy as well. No time to worry about what dreaded thing I have to do tomorrow, or what so and so with think if I post something on Facebook. My mind has been clearer and more at ease than ever. Now this is the kind of busy I like.

I am spending today with my mom, Casey and my brothers. We will probably go to lunch, see a movie and watch the Sharks game. Nothing too crazy, but I'm more than looking forward to it. Happy Mothers Day Mom, I love you!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Wasted

2011-04-18T15:10:00.001-07:00

Time that is. I'm at work and the kids are asleep. I typically use this time to browse the Internet, which would inevitably lead me to Facebook. Once I was sucked in there was no turning back. Now that I'm trying stay away from it, I've realized how much time I've wasted browsing profiles and pictures of people I hardly know, and hardly care to know. Do I really need to be spending my time snooping around and aimlessly browsing others lives? No, I don't. Sadly I'm having a hard time trying to figure out what to do with myself right now. I have a perfectly good book sitting next to me. "The Passage" by Justin Cronin. I've only read a couple of chapters, and it's really great so far...but I just have no desire to read right now. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to be on FB...I've just gotten so used to it, and quite honestly I feel lame for feeling so useless right now. I'll stick with it though, and hopefully in time I'll become something other than a lifeless Facebook droid.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Anyone out there?

2011-04-17T22:19:00.000-07:00

Hello...hello...hello.......

It's been a while...a long while, but I'm back. Welcoming myself back to the world of the living. I've been stuck in Facebook Land for the past 2 years and I'm ready to say buh-bye. Fake connections, friends, feelings...not nearly as useful and valuable as I use to see it. I'm ready for some bloggin' fun. It's always been theraputic whereas FB was the complete opposite. So here I am again, ready for a productive, meaningful life. I'm sure I made the right choice and can't wait to do something useful with all this free time. Running? A garden? Painting? Reading? Open to suggestions.

She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts

2009-05-03T11:59:00.000-07:00

I moved my beautiful, wonderful, lovely, small dresses over to my apartment yesterday. One problem though, I am no longer a size small. I've been dressing like a bum. I have gained back all of the weight I lost from running last year. I haven't quit running altogether, so I know that's not the only issue. I don't run quite as much, or as far as I used to...instead I eat more. A few weeks ago I went on the Wii Fit at work and was happy to see I had only gained 10 pounds back (out of 25), but then I ate 9 donuts that week. The following week the Wii Fit told me I gained 9.5 pounds! Unacceptable. So in utter desperation I decided to cut out diet coke, the only soda I ever drink, and candy. Why soda? Cause I know if I'm not drinking soda I'll drink water instead. So far, so good. It's been 18 days with no soda or candy. 6 days ago I decided I wouldn't eat donuts or fast food. All of this is going great, except, I am hungry ALL the time. I eat a huge meal and am hungry in 2 hours. Scratch that, not hungry, STARVING. So I've gained another 5 pounds. Let's do a little math here ----> 10+9.5+5 = Pretty much 25 freaking pounds. Shit.

Now I know once I'm all settled into my place I'll get back on track and lose a lot of it pretty quickly, but it really upsets me that I haven't been on top of things. I'm excited to go grocery shopping on my own, for my own place, for myself. Ryan asked if he could keep his mini corndogs at my house and I had to say no. I know I'll eat them, and I'm trying to keep everything in my house fresh and healthy! Any recipe suggestions are welcome. I'll be cooking a lot more, and running a lot more! I am beginning my 10k training schedule today. I slacked on my 5k training and only finished half of it. I don't think it was quite as challenging as I needed it to be.

Time to be fit and healthy. I am starting out on my own, why not start out right. Begin NOW!

Too much food on my plate

2009-04-30T22:41:00.000-07:00

Last night I dreamt that one of my best friends Kib shot herself in the wrist because she caught the swine flu. She then went into a coma for 15 days. She looked like a pile of skin and bones and there was nothing anyone could do to help her. I was crying SO hard that I know for a fact I must have been crying out loud in my sleep. All of a sudden she woke up looking refreshed! She kept looking at her wrist and asking us what happened. Over and over again looking very confused.

Ahhh, the stress of moving. I've eaten 3 egg salad sandwiches today and I could have had much more. I am tempted to eat another one right now. But I won't. I am forcing myself into bed so I can get settled into my new place tomorrow! Hopefully the dreams and egg salad cravings go away soon. =/

It's all about the climb

2009-04-15T09:13:00.000-07:00

The one thing I haven't been slacking on lately is work. I've been a slacker when it comes to blogging, a slacker when it comes to running, a slacker when it comes to cleaning and packing to move...and don't even ask me if I've had breakfast yet. I can't even finish a movie I downloaded 4 weeks ago, because I sit and literally do NOTHING.

I cleaned out one small drawer this week to get ready to move, ONE. It's as if I look at that movie on my computer and think, "Finishing that movie would be productive, nope...can't do it!" When I look at my 5k training schedule I just move a bunch of crap around so that I don't have to do it that day. I end up running 2-3 days a week instead of the 5-6 I'm supposed to be doing. And it's not like I'm too crazy busy to run, I just move things around so I can SIT.

I'm not sure where this feeling is coming from, but I have a feeling it's my way of resisting change. If I don't move forward none of this will be real. I know it's what I want and need, just scared to admit it by actually doing it. It's a REALITY, I need to realize it.

My quaint little room!

Me in my cute little kitchen!

And because I'm feeling like a brat, here's how close I was to Miss Britney Spears on Sunday!

Which one was it?

2009-04-03T12:53:00.000-07:00

(Warning = TMI)

I told you it wasn't just about glitter. Two nights ago I went to a friends house to help talk her through some things she's been going through (it ended up more like an intervention - minus the drugs or alcohol). The entire time we talked I couldn't stop drinking water. I had eaten 5000 things that day out of nervousness about this talk (oatmeal, Subway sandwich, diet coke, cereal, clam chowder, broccoli, a tortilla with almond butter & granola, french fries and a shake! maybe even more...) so I was stuffed and just couldn't get enough water. I honestly thought I had eaten too much and needed the water to help me digest it. Little did I know that my body was getting ready to rid itself of EVERYTHING. I got home about 3:30AM and fell asleep by 4. I woke up at 6 and thought, "Damn it! Why do I always wake up so early when I stay up so late!?" then proceeded to run to the bathroom and puke 6 times. Feeling relieved I dragged my ass back to bed. 45 minutes later I wake up running to the bathroom for a different reason...so not only was I on the toilet, I was holding the trash can in front of me so I could throw up at the same time. This continued until about 1PM. At one point I was on the floor throwing up in the bowl because I couldn't hold myself up without getting tunnel vision. I proceeded to scream, "I need water!! I need water!!" hoping my dad would hear me, but he didn't. After 1PM I slept for a while with the worst back ache. The ache moved down through my legs and then the stomach cramps started. I would sip a tiny bit of water, and I mean the TINIEST amount you could sip and my stomach would go into fits of cramping.

Today I am feeling a lot better, although I still have a very bad back ache and some major diarrhea. I have been able to hold down a banana, toast and a tiny bit of yogurt. I think that's good for now. I've had quite a bit of water and am hoping this is the tail end...

I'm pretty sure I narrowed it down to either almond butter or clam chowder from Trader Joes. I have a really weird feeling that it was the almond butter. But who knows. I don't think I'll be eating either of those for a long time...

I think it's time...

2009-04-01T10:59:00.000-07:00

Time to start blogging again that is! I haven't written a blog in almost a year...and the last one I wrote was about how I sent 600 text messages to help David Cook win American Idol. Besides my random posts, blogging is almost like a form of therapy. It helps people connect and get to know your innermost thoughts (the ones you WANT to share anyway...). In this case, I decided to start blogging again because my best friend Patty moved to Japan a few months ago. If she didn't blog it would be really hard to keep in touch (I'm still waiting for my letter!) and I'm afraid she'd come back in 4 years and not know who I am.

So, I'm back and sure to be found babbling about my half-marathon training, my possible new apartment, my friends, family and life - whether you want to hear it or not.